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Tangling with a Narcopath results in a very unique set of circumstances, ejecting their abused target in what appears to the victim as a completely hopeless situation. Understand why it feels like, and what can be done about it, allows us to completely turn the situation around.
Thoughts of Suicide? It’s common….
When the relationship with a narcopath has been a close one (romantic partner, child of, work colleague etc), many victims of NPD abuse consider suicide – at least at some stage in the process. It’s understandable – not only has their entire word been turned upside down, but their ability to cope with it (their self-confidence and self-worth) has been systematically eroded over a long period, and often without them even knowing that it was happening. And to make matters even worse, a significant part of their support network has also been poisoned against them.
But wait – it gets worse still. Where at all possible, the narcopath has also tried to remove any means of escape, and to fund their legal bill to fight a divorce. To a confused victim, it’s a seemingly impossible situation – a steady stream of kicks when you-re down, with no time-outs.
It gets better
Please understand that this is a phase that will pass. Ground yourself with whatever gives you strength from your past, and concentrate on what gives you optimism for the future. Know that when you are at rock bottom, it’s only going to get better. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon – hang in there.
Why would Narcopaths want their ex’s to commit suicide?
There is anecdotal evidence from amongst many in the survivor community to suggest that this is what they would like to see happen, particularly if there is a risk that the victim might expose the abusive narcopath. To the Narc, it proves that their victim was weak, that they were the predominant one. It reassures them that they had such control that their victims would take such a drastic step. And while it may rob them of potential future supply, the upside is that it silences forever a potential witness to their evil. And, in many family cases, they inherit an estate. When kids are involved, it means that they have full psychological control over them without the checks and balances that the other parent would represent.
Treated Like a Toaster
Don’t forget, they are limited by the emotional constraints of normal human beings – those of love, empathy, compassion, remorse etc. To a narcopath, personal relationships are no different from that which you have with a toaster. It serves a purpose, it works, you use it. The moment it breaks irrecoverably, you throw it away. And you through it away as quickly and efficiently as possible, with the least cost to you. So whilst avoiding a divorce may rob them of the narcissistic supply derived from the drama of such a process, your suicide is still an attractive prospect for them.
Please don’t end your life. Because your new life starts now.
It’s time to embark on your journey – and we hope that you will find on this site many tools to help you, and plenty of encouragement to will you on your way.
Where do you start? By understanding that you have been the victim of a highly toxic and cruel campaign of abuse, for which you were not to blame.
Rock BottomTangling with a narcopath will often take you to absolute rock bottom.
Rock bottom makes a great foundation on which to build the rest of your life.
Your journey starts here and now.
If you are feeling suicidal, there are a number of resources in your country – please contact them. The International Association for Suicidal Prevention (IASP) has an excellent directory at https://www.iasp.info.
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Psychological Murder: Death by Covert Abuse
Why do so many victims of narcissistic abuse commit murder?