You are here: Home > About NPD > Understanding NPD >
Have you noticed that there always seems to be drama going on around a narcissist? It happens, and it happens for a reason.
Mindbloggling – but here’s why
There are a number of reasons why narcissists must have drama going on in their life:
- It makes them feel important. You must understand that one of the narcopath’s worst fears is to be insignificant. Drama, therefore overcomes this because it puts them at the centre of attention and discussion. They need people to be talking about them, even at the risk of this talk being negative.
- Drama gives the narcopath an opportunity to manipulate and twist, and divide and conquer. By setting friend against friends, colleague against colleague, and plunge a family into war, a narcissist is able to consolidates and strengthen their position at the cost of everyone else.
- Drama gives the narcopath the prospect to make people’s lives miserable, thereby taking their mind of their own self-loathing.
- But perhaps most importantly, drama gives the narcopath the opportunity to be a victim – something that is core to the narcopath’s own victim narrative.
- In essence, drama is a great source of fuel, or narcissistic supply, of both positive and negative flavours. Consider the “poor you” comments that reinforces their sense of victimhood as the positive, and anything along the lines of a rebuke as negative.
Avoid it if you can
The important thing with such drama is to try and avoid getting sucked into at yourself. Rather than allowed yourself to be played, manage the relationship. The easiest way to achieve this is to understand the link between the drama and the need for a victim narrative. Stand back, recognise what is going on for what it is, hold the narcopath to account for their poor behaviour and make it clear that you will not allow the protagonist to claim victimhood and you might be safe.
< Emotional Regulation | Addiction to Drama | The Narcissist’s Insults >