You are here: Home > Recovery > Tools & Tips >
Many victims see the Narcissist happy and thriving post-discard, feeling this very unfair. They want to know when Karma is going to strike. The answer may surprise..
Given the most bewildering and devastating mindfuck of a relationship that leaves them devastated and, in many cases, destitute, it is only natural that many victims seek revenge. And become impatient for their narcissists to trip up and fall foul of Karma.
When will Karma Strike?
Such a common question within the community. The answer is simple.
It already has.
The Real Victim
Narcissists come out of nowhere, deliberately targeting kind and decent people who only try to help them. The initial but brief honeymoon of the relationships morphs into an unparalleled and protracted nightmare of insidious abuse that sucks their very lifeblood. The victims are ejected, discarded, and left on the scrap heap. They are isolated and smeared. Before they can pull themselves together again, the narc is back for more with a Hoover manoeuvre aimed at sucking their prey back in for another chew before spitting them out again. By way of grand finale, they then embarking on a mission to destroy their quarry completely.
Who is the real victim? I invite you to consider this – it’s the narcopath.
How could anyone suggest such a notion??
Two reasons:
- Firstly, as victims, you are able to escape. To heal. To find happiness once again. To feel joy and optimism. To regain your confidence and sense of being complete and at peace. It may seem now like an impossible feat that will never happen. But you can, and it will. The narcissist can’t and never will until death liberates them again.
- The second is that hoping for karma just prolongs your frustration and agony. Replace the hate that you naturally have towards the narc with pity allows you to move on. To heal. To make peace with them and, more importantly, with yourself.
Let me very clear. I am not an abuse apologist. I do not seek to diminish the abuse victims suffer which is horrific beyond comprehension. I do not suggest that they should be unaccountable for their behaviour – they absolutely are. But what is done is done, and one of the aims of this website is to turn victims into survivors, and then on to thrivers. Understanding that the Narc is in a worse position than you will help.
To help make the point….
Collateral Damage
The battle the Narc is waging is not with you. It never has been. It’s with themselves. You, very sadly, are just collateral damage. As indeed are all the others they leave devastated in their wake of destruction.
Imprisoned
Core to the narcissist’s psyche is a deep sense of shame. They loath themselves. They are desperately lacking in self-confidence and self-esteem. They sense ridicule at every corner. They are jealous of and resentful towards anyone who is happy and fulfilled. They minds are constantly on edge, desperately seeking narcissistic supply, franticly strategising in order to hunt it.
They are imprisoned in their own bodies and by their own minds. It’s a life sentence – literally. Karma could indeed serve a more intense punishment – but they are serving a sentence every hour of every day. They deserve some pity and compassion.
Who is Abusing Who?
The original abuse is without a doubt carried out by the Narcissist on their victim. But Victims also need to be aware of their own role in their abuse. By taking heed of what the narcissist says, by taking it personally what the narcissist does, by sticking around in their sphere of influence, the victim is handing the narcissist the power to abuse them.
Even after discard, having the narcissist in their midset inhibits the victim from getting on with their healing journey. It is understandable that you might want to see Karma strike your narc, and for justice to be served. But hanging around to see it happen just holds you back. Better to move on, look forward, know that they are already being punished every single day, and that seeing you forget them, heal and find happiness is the best punishment you can serve on them.
Revenge
If this is still not enough to persuade you of a softening of mindset, please visit Revenge.
Worse to Come
And if this is not still enough, the section on Narcissistic Collapse is pertinent.
< | Karma Strikes | >
External Links
Does Karma Pay Back the Narcissist? | Melanie Tonie Evans