Spotting the Narcissist

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Narcopaths are spectacularly difficult to spot. People can’t understand them. Professional and experienced psychologists, and sometimes even psychiatrists, have problems identifying them. So who the devil can discern the numerous narcissists moving amongst us?


A Very Convincing Act

Narcissists can be extraordinarily charming. It’s a an act that they have been perfecting their whole lives – literally. Maintaining the charade of “false self” , and in so doing protect their toxic “real self” in the classic Jekyll & Hyde split personality, is their life’s mission. They depend on narcissistic supply, the adulation and adoration, required to prop up this facade – it is their lifeblood. Their greatest fear, exposure of who they really are, spells the end. Narcissistic collapse. The equivalent of a massive mental breakdown as their house of cards comes crashing down.

So the charm is an extremely polished and important performance, on which their very being depends.

Moreover, because they need so much admiration, they know just how to ooze it in order to win it back.


The Few not to be Fooled

So who are the lucky few who can resist it? It pretty much takes an Awakened Empath – someone who has been charmed into the narcissist’s web of covert and insidious abuse (through all phases of idealisation, devaluation and discard), someone who was nearly destroyed in the process, who has then worked it all out from tough experience, and become enlightened. Strong, emboldened, confident.


How to spot the Narcissist

It is the awakened empath who has seen it all before, and suffered enormously as a result, who can see the telltale signs.

The little nuances.

The forced laugh. The fake smile. The shallow look in the eyes. The slightly-too-laud whoop of joy. The playful pat. The over-enunciated body language.

ie The hunt for narcissistic supply.

The flash of jealousy. The cutting comment. The hog of attention. The overly-defensive affront. The dodge of accountability. The deflected blame. The projected faults. The manipulated power play.

Ie The fear of exposing their chronic lack of self-esteem.

The mismatch between word and deed. The inconsistency in which different people are treated. The chameleonic morphing of personality. The lack of object constancy.

ie The duality of Jekyll & Hyde

Tiny, little nuances.

But, to the sharp eye, sufficient to give the game away. And for the empath who really knows their stuff, there are tricks with which they can go on the offensive. Not just observe, but probe. Dig. Prod.

All the indicators are there if you know where and how to look.


Psychologists and the Professionals

Interestingly professional and experienced psychologists are also taken in by the charade, it really is that good. It does indeed take prior victims, who has been through the wringer, made sense of it all and learnt the need for counter-intuitive thinking, who seem to be the very few who can spot them.


< Narcopaths in Communities | Spotting the Narcissist | Narcissistic Cliques >

See also

Red Flags of Narcissism

External Links

The Secret to Spotting Subtle Narcissists | Psychology Today

3 Steps to Identifying a Narcissist | Psychology Today

25 Signs of Covert Narcissism | Mystical Raven