Narcissists can often have an unusual and interesting dynamic between them. On the face of it, you would imagine that they repel each other as each one wants to hog the limelight for themselves. But this isn’t necessarily the case. Welcome to the Narcissistic Clique.
Sometimes they become partners in crime – joining forces to create a bigger limelight for themselves. How? By becoming best buddies and forming a clique of disciples around them. We can all remember the bully from schooldays who formed a gang – this is the same thing, but with more grown-up activities whereby instructions to join in with playground games are replaced by invitations to dinner parties. In the narc parent context, it is the alliance between narc parent and golden child that gangs up on the scapegoat. In the workplace, it is the group that forms to have meetings and do projects to the detriment of other workers who, ordinarily, would be included but for some reason aren’t.
Narcs form alliances with other narcs not just to build a forced popularity, but also for mutual protection. They have an inherent understanding of each other’s vulnerabilities and insecurities and protect these under a implicit agreement of mutually-assured destruction. I won’t expose you, because to do so will expose me etc.
It’s not just an unhealthy alliance in defence, however. It has a very potent offensive capability. Around discard, it is the clique that is the driving force behind the Smear Campaign designed to isolate and undermine the rejected ex. It can be so toxic that victims choose suicide. Even in a social setting, people who are perceived not to adhere to the clique’s expectations and standards are sidelined and chastised.
Other narcs aside, narcissists feel more at home with people that at best turn a blind eye to their toxic behaviour, and at worst are equally as toxic. They do not feel comfortable being around decent people who are critical thinkers and have the courage of their convictions to call out bad behaviour.