You are here: Home >
Sexual and physical abuse by men against women is the first thing that springs to mind re domestic abuse. In reality, however, DA takes many different forms – and they are all connected by an underlying and highly complex mindset. I refer to Cluster B Personality Disorders that include Psychopath, Sociopath and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
The fallouts resulting from these Personality Disorders are wide and varied:
- Murder (2 women a week in the UK)
- Suicide (3 times higher in men than women)
- Physical and sexual assault
- Parental Alienation
- Work and school absenteeism
- Child abuse
- Child suicide
- Child learning issues
Those are the direct consequences of it. The indirect consequences, especially when one counts the cost to society of just one child being brought up to enter a life of crime rather than constructive work, are immeasurable.
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder 6.2%
- ASPD (Sociopaths & Psychopaths) 3.7% (PsychologyToday)
So between the disorders, nigh on 10% in general society. This figure rather underlines the challenge, more so when one considers that those with NPD tend to be in higher socio-economic groups. Indeed, they may well be filling the positions in society where change needs to happen (government, the judiciary, the police, social services, the NHS etc) which is why so much determination, tact and understanding are so critically important.
Difficult to Understand
It is said that the only people to comprehend this mindset are victims who have been put through the wringer by them, and even psychologists themselves struggle to get the counter-intuitive thinking required. I have 25 years of first hand experience, allied to three years of intensive study and helping other victims. It is for this reason that I understand the problem and have a range of ideas to both reduce DA before it happens, support victims of it once it has, and to halt the pathogen from being passed from one generation to the next. It is a problem that is about to explode with the Millennial generation because the conditions that create Cluster B PDs are now so commonplace.
The Challenge in a Nutshell
Whether I or anyone else take on the challenge of combatting Domestic Abuse in the UK, the following 16min TED Talks video encapsulates the challenge and the solution. DA costs £66bn in the UK annually – I very much hope that watching it is worth your time.
Since applying for the role of Designate Commissioner Domestic Abuse the following stories have appeared that illustrate the problem. Sadly, not one of them mentions the underlying psychological cause:
- Sally Challen – wrongfully convicted of murder?
- Amber Peat – opportunities missed to prevent her suicide
- Teenage suicide – doubles in eight years
- One in five women murdered – the opportunities missed by police
- Robert Goodwin – avoidable murder and suicide
- UK homelessness soaring – now one in 200
The selection of indicative stories above represent those that are reported. It is the tip of the iceberg with many more escaping unnoticed for a variety of reasons.
A Formidable Skillset
Dr Ramani quotes towards the end of her video above “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls – the most massive characters are seared with scars”. I’m one, and I’m on a passionate life’s mission to help wider society tackle the problem.
Since submitting my application I have completed a diploma in Psychology and am undertaking another in Life Coaching & Mindfulness. From compassion and understanding at one end of the spectrum, to steely determination, charm and astuteness at the other, I remain confident that I have a formidable skillset for this role.
Passion and drive are perhaps difficult to convey in writing. I’d be very grateful for the opportunity to discuss my ideas at interview next week. Many thanks indeed for taking the time to read this – it is much appreciated.